For some reason, every year we age, everything that we never did comes flooding back to our mind. All the tryouts we never went to, all the auditions we chickened out of, that time we felt like we were supposed to do something but never did, or that thing we never got to say. It can be pretty depressing to think about all those should of, could of, would of’s. Depending on your age, it could take quite a while to add them all up.
What if all those memories we have floating in our heads that we didn’t act on, we actually showed up and responded to the pull? Do you ever think about that? What about now? What are you not showing up to?
In this particular season in my life, the Lord has prompted me in new ways and really brought me to a place that I never thought I’d be. I felt the call to write many years ago. I knew that God was calling me out of where I was mentally to do a new thing in me. But fear and shame kept me from showing up all the way. I had allowed the irrational thinking and anxiety from fear to hold me hostage so that I couldn’t take that steps that it took for me to show up. And of course I was such a control freak that there was no way that I would let on to the idea that I couldn’t control the fear that was holding me hostage inside of my own body. God was calling me out onto the water and i was clinching the boat and paddle for dear life.
In my heart of hearts I wanted so badly to be obedient, but for some reason the calling God was showing me was just too much for me to wrap my mind around and there was too much fear in front of me to see clearly anyway. I would do little things that made me feel like I was moving in the direction that He had called me, but now I know that I was just trying to control my…… everything.
Today, I have released that fear (Thank you Jesus!!!) and I feel so free and light because of that heavy burden being lifted. These day my mind is set on just showing up. Showing up when the Lord calls me out to a new place, new season, new career, intimacy with Him, to love someone or have child like obedience.
Showing up is where the change happens. It’s where the faith is put to feet and we really show what we are made of. Some of us are having a hard time just taking that very first step. However, if we allow God to order our steps, those steps get much easier. “The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in Him,” Psalm 37:23.
Lord Jesus, give us the courage to show up for you today and everyday!